Hash Charter

OBJECTIVES:

  1. This Association shall be known as the Burlington Hash House Harriers. Effective 06-15-2000
  2. Its place of meeting shall be at any club, pub, vacant lot, parking structure or premises in the Greater Burlington Area at which permission to meet may or may not have been obtained. Its web presence shall be at www.burlingtonhash.com.
  3. Its objectives are:
    1. To promote physical fitness amongst its members.
    2. To get rid of weekend hangovers.
    3. To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer.
    4. To persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel.

MEMBERSHIP:

  1. Membership is open to all persons who are interested in taking part in a weekly hash.
  2. A person wishing to join the Hash merely shows up at a Hash and is thereafter considered to be a member until such time as he notifies his intention to resign or ceases to follow the rules of the Hash.

ENTRANCE FEES, SUBSCRIPTIONS AND OTHER DUES:

  1. No entrance fee is payable by new members.
    1. All others pay the day’s fee as determined by the Hare.
    2. Hares should insure that costs don’t exceed $5 per Hasher, per Hash. Exceptions for special events.

MISMANAGEMENT:

  1. The Hash is to be run effectively but cooperatively.
  2. A committee shall be established that will consist of the following members at a minimum:GM, ASS. GM or Co-GM, On-Sec, Hare Raiser, Religious Advisor, Hash Scribe, Haberdasher
  3. Committee members will serve at the leisure of the Hash and may be changed at Annual General Meeting Hash, hereafter AGM.
  4. Any member may call an early General Hash Meeting. Although nobody is likely to show without free beer.
  5. AGM should be held annually in December.
  6. The Grand Master Emeritus (GME) is bestowed upon the Hash Founder or older hashers who may not be able to run any longer, but gave many years of service to the hash. GMEs are not responsible for the day-to-day operations of the hash, but generally throw in their unsolicited opinions to Mis-Management.

BYLAWS:

  1. In the summer months, HashTime is 1830 (6:30pm). In the Winter months, there are no regular hashes. Hash day is Wednesday.
  2. Can’t get named until a new Hasher sets their own run. Co-haring, or BBing doesn’t count. The RA is repsonsible for determining if the hasher has proven themselves worthy of a name. Bribing the RA is acceptable.
  3. All Hashers must Hare a Hash at least once a year.
  4. All Hashes shall be set with the established marks of the Hash. Foreign marks must be declared. Shitty trail sucks.
  5. Hares and Co-Hares are responsible for providing the necessary beer for trail and beer for circle religious activities. A small quantify of water or soda should be allowed.
  6. Being that the existence of Hash Kennels across the nation and world is an integral part of the fun and camaraderie of the sport, visitors should be warmly welcomed and treated as local regulars.
  7. Bylaw 6 maybe excused if the visitor is an asshole or a perv.

HASH RULES:

  1. No whining.
  2. There is no rule #2.
  3. See rule 1.
  4. No stealing (see hereunder – definition of stealing): Stealing – the covert removal of another Hasher’s property with the intention of depriving said hasher of such property for an indefinite period of time.
  5. No stealing, but borrowing is okay (see hereunder the definition of borrowing): Borrowing – the act of covert temporary removal of another Hasher’s property (property in this instance is confined to items of a portable nature and directly related to hashing such as mugs, bugles and run books). Substantial items such as kegs whilst being directly related to hashing should never be borrowed. At all times the property borrowed is held for a relatively short period of time and always returned in good order. Often such property is enhanced by suitable engraving to record for posterity the guile of the borrower. Borrowing is a complex issue and where any doubt exists the Grand Master should be consulted.
  6. Rain is not permitted during Hash runs. The Religious Advisor is personally responsible for ensuring that fine conditions prevail for a period of not less than one hour each Wednesday from 6:00 pm to 9:00pm HST.
  7. No tax collectors.
  8. No discrimination. Unemployed, dogs, women, criminals, disabled, nymphomaniacs, hashers from Winooski, and even lawyers are all encouraged to run Hash. Alcoholics are particularly welcome. Athletes are tolerated. Athletes, dogs and children, whilst permitted to run, can never aspire to become Grand Master.
  9. Down-downs may not be declined, but alternate beverages or showing skin may be allowed at the discretion of the Religious Advisor or his designate.
  10. No competitiveness.
  11. No training. Persons caught training will be deemed to have breached rule 11 and will be liable to a charge. A range of activities may be interpreted as training, and for guidance the following non-exhaustive list is provided:
    1. running other than official Hash runs, unless a Hash event;
    2. cycling (fornication on a push bike is exempt);
    3. visiting a gymnasium for any other purpose than perving on the aerobics class;
    4. using the stairs while escalators are available; and
    5. wearing of competitive clothing at the hash.
    6. new shoes will not be tolerated. Really.
  12. All Hashers must commit to memory rules 1, 2, 3, 10 and 17 and be able to recite them at any hour of the day or night regardless of their state of inebriation.
  13. No fighting at Hash. This rule is absolute and the entire culture of Hash relies on strict adherence to this rule. If a fellow Hasher causes you immense displeasure by stealing your car or impregnating your daughter (wives are exempt) then belt shit out of him at some other place than Hash and on some other day than Sunday which is a day of reverence and tranquility.
  14. No bikes. Dikes OK.
  15. Other rules may be enacted by the committee as they see fit.
  16. Amendments to Rules 1, 3, 6, 8, 9, 11, 13, and 17 are illegal.
  17. There are no rules.

 

Note:

Bestiality is not covered in these Rules due to the proliferation of New Zealand Hashers. As this item is not incorporated in Hash rules, all behavior covered by the above note is subject to determination by the Grand Master or his designate.

Disrespectfully submitted by Gafami, GME, Burlington HHH (this entire document was plagerized from an infinite number of sources…)